It Starts Now

Customer: "You're too pretty to always have your head down sweety."
Me: "You should really save those kind of comments for those that actually apply for them." (walks away)

His face was priceless. One of shock mixed with puzzlement. It was the look that told me he was serious but in all reality, I didn't believe him one bit. However, the words that came out of my mouth was what caused me to turn and walk away.
The voice in the back of my head has finally begun to speak without permission or any sort of warning that it was coming.

However, I'm embracing that. It's a good sign. I'm ready. It's all coming together NOW. I'm not effing this up, and nobody's getting in my way. Jayde and Khloé are finally ready to be free. Although the uncertainties are endless, we are in this together, and whatever the outcome... It will be worth it.

Jayde: It's like, I can't just sit and chill anymore. Every time I'm alone it's horrible

Khloé: I'm the exact same way...
That's when I get like suicidal pretty much.
I feel like I'm stuck and I cant do anything about it. I just want to make it all go away. Just to make everything stop.
But then I remember Liz and I don't want to do that to my friends but still... I'm just sick of being here.

Jayde: Same here, I feel like my goal is so far away and I'll never reach it and even if I do, will I be happy?

Khloé: Exactly...
I'm 240.5
My gw is 110.
That's 130.5 pounds.
It seems so unattainable even though I am losing weight now...
But still, like you said, I don't even know if getting there is going to make me happy...
Will it be enough? Will I have the life I've always wanted? Will things come together? Or will i still be stuck?
I'm so scared that when we get there we're not gonna be happy

Jayde: Exactly!
I wish we could just get out of here. Just go somewhere, I don't know where but somewhere far away from here.

Khloé: I know. We wouldn't need anything. Nothing but part-time jobs, weed, alcohol, and a shack in the middle of nowhere. No food. No electricity. No cell phones. Just some form of music. It would be a fucking blast and we would lose weight like it was nothing. Come back, shove it in everyones fucking face. Then just walk away again. Fuck the people around here. Besides a very select few, I'm sick of the back stabbing bitches and the fucking dickheads. I'm sick of the same old shit every fucking damn day. I'm sick of trying to please everybody and then in reality I'm the one who is never fucking happy.
I'm not trash on the curb. I have fucking feelings and the fact that barely anyone cares to hear my opinions or recognize the fact that I do care and feel shit pisses me off.
I'm so sick of getting fucked over. even when I reach my goal weight I know a part of me will be fucking happy. Skinny bitches get whatever the fuck they want.
It's about time I get what I fucking want.
Hell, its about time we get what WE want.

Jayde: All I have to say is, Halle-Fucking-Lujah, sister!


Stats
HT: 5'5"
HW: 275
CW: 240.1
CGW: 199
UGW: 110

~ Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before. ~
-Erich Fromm

Stay Strong <3
Stay Focused <33
Be Free.
~Khloé